When a lawyer shows up at the vampire's doorstep, he falls prey to his charms and joins him in his search for fresh blood. Enter Professor Van Helsing, who may be the only one able to vanquish the Count.
Reclusive vampires lounge in a lonely American town. They wear sunscreen to protect themselves. A descendant of Van Helsing arrives with hilarious consequences.
A seedy private eye gets more than he ever bargained for when a missing persons case leads him to a brothel overseen by the mother of vampires and her lusty army of the undead.
Anthropologist Joe Weber takes his son on a trip to the New England town of Salem's Lot, unaware of its vampire population. When the inhabitants reveal their secret, they seek Weber to write a bible for them.