Darryl Seamen

During a session with his psychoanalyst, Alexander Portnoy rants about everything that is bothering him. His complaints include his childhood and his family with an emphasis on his mother, his sexual fantasies and the problems that he has with women, and his obsessive feelings about his Judaism.

Barney Miller is the kind of cop we'd all like to run into. Always sensible, he maintains order over a band of detectives who gamble, hit on anything in skirts, go to renaissance philosophy conventions for fun, and would really prefer to be writing. Nearly all of the action takes place in the squad room where citizens and criminals are brought in to complicate the mix.