Fred Machon

Humbert Humbert is a middle-aged British novelist who is both appalled by and attracted to the vulgarity of American culture. When he comes to stay at the boarding house run by Charlotte Haze, he soon becomes obsessed with Lolita, the woman's teenaged daughter.

Henry VIII of England discards his wife, Katharine of Aragon, who has failed to produce a male heir, in favor of the young and beautiful Anne Boleyn.

In Haven Hospital, a certain men's ward is causing more havoc than the whole hospital altogether. The formidable Matron's debut gives everyone a chill every time she walks past, with only Reckitt standing up to her. There's a colonel who's a constant nuisance, a bumbling nurse, a romance between Ted York and Nurse Denton, and Bell wants his bunion removed straight away, so after a couple of pints, the men decide to remove the bunion themselves!

TV personality Robert Danvers, an exceedingly vain rotter, seduces young women daily, never staying long with one. He meets his match in Marion, an American, 19, who's available but refuses any romantic illusions.

Hitler: The Last Ten Days takes us into the depths of der Furher’s Berlin bunker during his final days. Based on the book by Gerhard Boldt, it provides a bleak look at the goings-on within, and without.

A rebellious youth, sentenced to a boy’s reformatory for robbing a bakery, rises through the ranks of the institution by impressing its Governor through his prowess as a long distance runner. He is encouraged to compete in an upcoming race, but faces ridicule from his peers.

A member of British Intelligence assumes a fictitious criminal identity and allows himself to be caught, imprisoned, and freed in order to infiltrate a spy organization and expose a traitor; only, someone finds him out and exposes him to the gang...

Norman is a file clerk who accidentally becomes a British delegate to a diplomatic conference, befriends the queen of a remote island, and winds up a knight. Norman leaves rooms in shambles, tailors in shreds, and diplomats in bandages. Chased by gunmen and assassins of foreign powers, Norman finds himself running through active TV studio sets and interrupts various programs and performances in progress

Charles Dobbs is a British secret agent investigating the apparent suicide of Foreign Office official Samuel Fennan. Dobbs suspects that Fennan's wife, Elsa, a survivor of a Nazi Germany extermination camp, might have some clues, but other officials want Dobbs to drop the case. So Dobbs hires a retiring inspector, Mendel, to quietly make inquiries. Dobbs isn't at all sure as there are a number of anomalies that simply can't be explained away. Dobbs is also having trouble at home with his errant wife, whom he very much loves, having frequent affairs. He's also pleased to see an old friend, Dieter Frey, who he recruited after the war. With the assistance of a colleague and a retired policeman, Dobbs tries to piece together just who is the spy and who in fact assassinated Fennan.

Amidst the French revolution, Citizen Robespierre is beheading the aristocracy! When word gets to England, noblemen Sir Rodney Ffing and Lord Darcy Pue take it upon themselves to aid their French counterparts. Sir Rodney is a master of disguise, and becomes 'The Black Fingernail' scourge of Camembert and Bidet, leaders of the French secret police.

Involuntarily-retired Colonel Hyde recruits seven other dissatisfied ex-servicemen for a special project. Each of the men has a skeleton in the cupboard, is short of money, and is a service-trained expert in his field. The job is a bank robbery, and military discipline and planning are imposed by Hyde and second-in-command Race on the team, although civilian irritations do start getting in the way.

Doctor in Clover is another 'Doctor' movie, but this time Leslie Phillips is the main doctor in the story, looking for love and romance from the hospital nurses, much to the annoyance of the main Administrator (James Robertson Justice) who wants his doctors to be 100% focussed on the job. Numerous antics follow, with Phillips getting Justice fixed up with the new prim-and-proper Matron (Joan Sims) and his attempted failures to lure the hospital's beauty, the physiotherapist.

The Belgian detective Hercule Poirot investigates a series of murders in London in which the victims are killed according to their initials.

Great Britain has had an international agreement for the last 50 years with a small pacific island. It has been ignored until the death of their king brings it to the attention of the Foreign Office in Whitehall. They decide to send Cadogan de Vere Carlton-Browne to re-establish friendly relations.

The Wedded Bliss computer dating agency aims to bring together the lonely hearts of Much-Snoggin-in-the-Green. Its owner, Sidney Bliss, has enough complications in his own love life, but still produces a pamphlet called 'The Wit to Woo'. The strange collection of hopefuls lead to some outlandish matches—and jealousies are bound to lead to trouble.

A porn-store owner orders some new stuff from his supplier, but the delivery address gets mixed with the address of the local Barclays Bank. Here, David (the bank's assistant manager) and his new wife are shocked when photos, then films and finally two girls are sent to them in their bank-supplied flat. They and the bank's head cashier then hatch a plan to get rid of the porn—without letting their boss, the local police and David's mother in on what is happening.

After a quayside mix-up with the Italian family of his fiancée, Able Seaman Knocker White finds himself literally left holding the baby. Unable to return it before his ship sails he enlists the help of best mate Puncher Roberts to smuggle the child aboard. But babies are surprisingly demanding and gradually the whole crew is drawn into helping keep it fed and washed - and undiscovered. Even so, the officers above deck start to puzzle over the increasingly strange happenings on board.

Advertising golden boy Andrew Quint is fed up with his fabulously successful life. In very dramatic fashion, he quits his job to return to writing for a small literary magazine. He wants to leave his former life behind, going as far as saying good-bye to his wife and mistresses. He finds, however, that it's not so easy to escape the past.

An accident in the butchers shop leads Norman Pitkin and Mr Grimsdale to the hospital where, after causing the normal amount of chaos, Pitkin finds Lindy, a little girl who hasn't spoken or smiled since her parents were killed in an aeroplane accident. Pitkin decides to help.

When a law-abiding demolition expert is duped by a gang of criminals into helping them he is caught and jailed. When he is released he goes straight and then notices a leading citizen in his town is cheating his neighbours.

Dr. Burke is in love with Ophelia but doesn't have time to propose to her as she leaves for a cruise to the Mediterranean. Also on board the cruise ship is an old school chum of Burke's who plays 'Dr.Dare' in a very popular TV series and who women flock to. Burke decides to join the cruise, but is first apprehended as a stowaway, and then becomes the captain's steward. For Burke, trying to talk to Ophelia is a hard enough task, but he meets some funny characters on board, such as a pools winner and a very stubborn captain.

Carry On favourite Barbara Windsor makes her debut in this outrageous send-up of the James Bond movies. Fearless agent Desmond Simpkins and Charlie Bind, aided and abetted by the comely Agent Honeybutt and Agent Crump, battle against the evil powers of international bad guys STENCH and their three cronies.

A former burglar trying to go straight joins a rehabilitation scheme using much the same methods as AA. Through the process, he takes work as a department store Santa, where the endless parade of goods and money, not to mention the pretty young shop hands have him like a moth to a flame in no time flat.

Norman is a window cleaner who has to clean a manor house with hundreds of windows. He is distracted by the son of the house who persuades him to go into town. When some villains try and kidnap the young heir Norman fights them off but the heir has banged his head and can't remember Norman's heroic stand

The second collection of short stories written by Baroness Orczy about the gallant English hero, the Scarlet Pimpernel and his League.