John Smart

In Haven Hospital, a certain men's ward is causing more havoc than the whole hospital altogether. The formidable Matron's debut gives everyone a chill every time she walks past, with only Reckitt standing up to her. There's a colonel who's a constant nuisance, a bumbling nurse, a romance between Ted York and Nurse Denton, and Bell wants his bunion removed straight away, so after a couple of pints, the men decide to remove the bunion themselves!

Captain Crowther's lot is not a happy one! Five of his crew have to be replaced and at such short notice before the voyage begins there isn't much to choose from. Not only does he get the five most incompetent shipmates ever to sail the seven seas, but the passengers turn out to be a rather strange bunch too. The SS Happy Wanderer will never be the same.

A famed concert pianist's hands are destroyed in a plane crash; when he receives transplants from a recently executed strangler, his murderous new mitts attract the attention of a sleazy illusionist turned blackmailer.

Carry On favourite Barbara Windsor makes her debut in this outrageous send-up of the James Bond movies. Fearless agent Desmond Simpkins and Charlie Bind, aided and abetted by the comely Agent Honeybutt and Agent Crump, battle against the evil powers of international bad guys STENCH and their three cronies.

When a well-loved headmaster decides to retire, his scheming pupils have other ideas. The cunning boys unleash a campaign of practical jokes, armed with gin, itching power, and bombs!

An accident in the butchers shop leads Norman Pitkin and Mr Grimsdale to the hospital where, after causing the normal amount of chaos, Pitkin finds Lindy, a little girl who hasn't spoken or smiled since her parents were killed in an aeroplane accident. Pitkin decides to help.

Local councillor Sidney Fiddler persuades the Mayor to help improve the image of their rundown seaside town by holding a beauty contest. But formidable Councillor Prodworthy, head of the local women's liberation movement, has other ideas. It's open warfare as the women's lib attempt to sabotage the contest.

A private detective goes after the people who murdered his girlfriend.

Norman Truscott is a store worker who dreams of stardom. Vernon Carew is a singer whose star is fading. Vernon manages to get a recording of Norman singing and passes it off as himself.

Norman Pitkin wants to be a policeman like his father was, but he fails the height test (amongst others). One day he gets out his father's old uniform and "walks the beat". This leads to a level of chaos that only Pitkin could cause

The legendary Sid James stars as the head of a chaotic household in this movie spin-off from the hit ITV sitcom. Sid Abbott and his best mate Trevor (Peter Butterworth) enjoy home-brewing. Plans to turn their hobby into a profitable, if illicit, sideline come unstuck when a Customs and Excise officer (Terry Scott) moves in next door! What’s more, Sid’s outspoken and madcap family hinder neighbourly relations even further.

A gang of aspiring bank robbers involve themselves with arsonists and purchase their very own fire truck in an attempt to create the ultimate diversion. But posing as firemen leads them to disaster.

Each self-contained episode features a different kind of horror, varying from witches, werewolves, ghosts, devil worship and voodoo, but also includes non-supernatural themes such as cannibalism, confinement and serial killers.