Jonathan Malaer

With Christmas just around the corner, 8-year-old Molly asks the mall Santa to find a boyfriend for her beloved aunt.

When inept, self-proclaimed survival experts Kaduche and Wynn discover the world's impending destruction, they pull their act off YouTube and enter Epic Mode to save the Earth. Teaming up with their nemesis, the girl of their dreams, and an eccentric visionary known as the Oracle, the group sets out to battle domestic terrorists, disenfranchised Russian communists and brain-eating zombies.

During the 22nd Century, science and technology had advanced beyond ethical bounds, so most of mankind reversed course. Eventually, global dictatorships violated the United Nation's Bioethics Treaty, secretly stockpiling arms. As a result, an oblivious America was attacked. Retaliation with augmented nuclear weaponry had unforeseen effects, affecting most survivors in the Western Hemisphere and altering the rest. Those infected became ravenous beasts, feeding off the remaining population. But pockets of humanity remain.